Day 4 of the A to Z Challenge, my theme is mental health. It’s a slightly darker post from me today as D is for depression.
D is for… Depression
Depression is perhaps what most people think of when thinking about mental health. There are so many different types of depression and it affects people in so many different ways.
For me, depression is:
The big black cloud over my head. It’s the big black dog that follows me around. Depression is the little voice that constantly tells me I’m not good enough and that I’ll never be good enough. It is feeling numb and nothing makes sense. It’s feeling nothing or everything at once. It’s crying when someone says hello. It’s crying for absolutely no reason and not being able to stop.
It is being almost constantly in pain with headaches and achy shoulders. It’s being unable to sleep and relax. Or I sleep for hours and hours but still feel exhausted. It’s not having the energy and courage to get out of bed. It’s not showering, cleaning your teeth or eating properly because I’m not worth it. Depression made me scared to leave my house and face the world.
At its worse depression causes you to self harm and self destruct. It’s having thoughts that you would be better off dead. That your loved ones would be better off without you in their lives. My biggest piece of advice to you is to tell someone. Talk about how you’re feeling with friends, family or your doctor. Lots and lots of people have depression or some other mental health problems. Just remember you are not alone and this too shall pass.
Thankyou for reading,
P.S. I’ve had to be very brave to write this post. I wrote it in third person at first – saying your and it’s. I’ve changed it to I, because that’s what it is. It is all I have felt when I’ve been in the midst of depression. It’s a more powerful post and I hope you get more from it.