A to Z Challenge | S for Sorry 4


Day 19 of my mental health themed A to Z Challenge is S for Sorry.

How often do you say sorry?

For me it can be a lot. Sorry I’m struggling today. Sorry I’m crying a lot. Sorry I’m finding everything hard today.

Sorry. What are you apologising for? Everything, I thought I’d upset you, I’m sorry. Stop saying sorry. Sorry.

The other day, I was wearing a very similar outfit to one of my colleagues and my instant reaction was to apologise to her for wearing the same clothes as her. Even though it wasn’t my fault, it was no-one’s fault and it didn’t matter, I’m pretty sure no one else noticed. I didn’t apologise by the way, but I found it interesting that that was my instant response.

I worry that I’m not good enough, I worry that I’m annoying or am a burden, so then I apologise for myself. And then I get annoying because I apologise so much and then say sorry again. It’s something I need to work on. Do you have any advice on how I can stop this apologising?

Thankyou for reading,

Lx

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4 thoughts on “A to Z Challenge | S for Sorry

  • beetleypete

    In modern times, ‘Sorry’ has become a reflex word. It has stopped being a ‘real’ apology, and mutated into something we say without thinking. Bump a trolley at the supermarket, and you both say sorry automatically. Neither of you are actually sorry, it’s just what we say now. Drop some change as you hand over money in a shop, and you will likely say sorry to the cashier. Fail to notice a waiter next to your table with your meal, and you will say sorry to him as a matter of course.
    Is it still an apology, or just a word that has transformed into something that seems to come before every sentence in normal conversation?
    I would stop worrying about it, Lauren. It is just the same as, “You know”, or “Like”, and has just slipped into conversational English so deeply, it is unlikely to ever go away.
    Best wishes, Pete.

  • lorigg

    In Toastmasters we learn to recognize our crutch words. Things we say without necessarily thinking about them. Then once we are aware we try to pause instead. Perhaps when you feel the impulse to say sorry you could pause like you described above and then decide whether it is just reflex or something necessary. In this way your words can become less guilt ridden. One of my Toastmaster friends is using this idea to work on her reflexive sorry.

    • LaurenEph Post author

      Thankyou. I think I need to think before I speak and work out if there is really something that I need to apologise for!