I’ve been thinking a lot about mental health over the last few days. Mainly mine and Sheridan Smith’s.
First, I’ve been feeling down this week. It started on Sunday. I woke up really early, like wide awake too early and felt a bit rubbish all day. Then all week I’ve just really struggled. Struggled to get out of bed. No morning routine, no stretches or affirmations, no fruit for breakfast. Yesterday I felt exhausted. Like my body just felt like Jelly. And I felt cold, but cold inside. I came home from work got into bed and slept for 2 hours. Today I felt numb all day. Nearly cried cos some printing went wrong. Been to Zumba which was good fun and hopefully gave me some endorphins but then got home and ate a tub of Ben and Jerrys.
I’ve been racking my brains to try and work out what’s wrong. And I can’t find it. Yes I can come up with a load of reasons that just feel like excuses, work is crazy busy, I’m tired, feeling fat and unfit, I’m a grumpy mare or just a depressed person. I feel like I have to justify my feelings, justify my mood and my emotions. So when I saw this article today. I loved it. I resonated with it straight away. You do not have to justify your mental health. Sheridan Smith doesn’t and I don’t. We’ll see how long it lasts because I mainly try and justify my mental health to myself. But trying to justify it doesn’t help, doesn’t make it any better or easier.
I am so glad that I’m not Sheridan Smith or anyone else in the spotlight especially when I’m going through a hard time. Sheridan tweeted and apologised for not being strong enough and that broke my heart. It’s something I do. Apologise for being sad, feeling down or not enough. For the first and probably last time I wholeheartedly agreed with something Katie Hopkins wrote in the DailyMail. Leave Sheridan Smith, Caroline Flack and anyone else who’s on the brink of a so called breakdown alone. Mental health, anxiety, depression and stress should never be funny ❤️ and that’s why so many of us keep it under wraps. Me included.